Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

far away

so quiet this day. so quiet the day before. i am not used to this anymore. i love the quiet. like a sip of cool mountain water on a hot day, silence nourishes the person i am. i cannot live without it. that is, no doubt, why i grow more tired of breathing as the days go by. the loudness, the busyness of people who live aggressively hurts my life, my spirit, my everything. i feel like an alien from another planet because i do not understand the ways of the human. just do not understand the need to rush, to invade, to kill, to live like no one else matters, save the self. perhaps i only speak from middle age. perhaps these are just the words of a woman who is looking backwards to a world that seemed so much friendlier and quieter. i only know that i do not belong in this time. not as i am now. not where i am now.

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up the mountain

the day i was born i saw a mountain, a daunting aspect of nature but no more formidable than my own spirit. i can climb this mountain, i said. i can make my way to the top and from there i can see all things, know all things, do all things. no one told me that there would be blizzards, avalanches, wild animals, rolling boulders, toppling trees, deep uncrossable fissures. no one told me there would also be the soothing sound of silence, the soft swish of a bird flying overhead, the intense vibrancy of a sunset, the welcoming embrace of a forest, the chance sighting of a deer and its fawn, the cool fresh taste of mountain water. i have yet to stand on the top of my mountain. i am still climbing my way through beauty and tragedy on a path yet to be forged. i am content that no one told me what i might find on the way up the mountain. i might have stayed in the valley and waited for my life to begin.

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peace and quiet

the light of the sun is filtering through the trees outside my window. right now it is very peaceful and i cherish it. peace and quiet are not easy to come by in this urban neighborhood. i bleed from the constant loudness of this world in which i now live. i long for my mountain childhood, so far, far away. i miss peace and quiet, for in peace and quiet i can hear my spirit; i can think, read, daydream, nap, just be.

i don’t know who this person is anymore. my face is battleworn and my heart wanders off its beaten path. there are days when i just want to hide and never be found…until serenity is declared the way of life for all humans.

a girl can dream, can’t she?

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can i make it?

i am just one person in this world of billions. i am just one small voice amid the cries and hollerings of millions, billions, gazillions of living beings. what makes me special? that i live? that i think? that i talk? i find this world difficult to live in. perhaps i take things too seriously. perhaps i’m like the wolf running on a forest path, running with hopes of life but truly on the road that will lead to my destruction at the hands of other living things. i cannot find the light to melt the darkness. i am only one step away from………………….

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