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thank you

just a short note to thank miss demure restraint, zenuria, and glaize for commenting on my blog. it’s nice to know that someone is reading what i write and appreciating it. i will continue to check out your blogs too. au revoir, mes amies.

left in the dust

right now i am at an impasse. i feel as if someone changed the stoplight from green to red and then disappeared, leaving me in a permanent state of waiting. waiting for my life to become what i dream it will be. waiting for the magic of money to find me. waiting for prince charming…well, maybe not (i used to wonder if there really was a prince charming but not any more; now i think that there is only me). i know all this stuff about me being in charge of my life, about the law of attraction, about god watching lovingly over me, guiding me, but somehow the pilot light went out and i find myself in nowheresville. a time of static nothingness that is driving me to margaritaville, if truth be told. patience. i need to learn patience. there is a time for everything…yeah, yeah, i know that too, but i still feel chained to where i am now and i do not know where the key is that will turn that damn light green.

i am lost in the zone called working for a living. who decided that the world runs efficiently in a five-day span for 8 to 10 hours each day? i long for freedom from money issues. if i had all the money in the world i would … what would i do? travel, travel, travel (did i mention that i would travel?), dream all day, nap with cats, play with dogs, plant flowers, wrap my arms around trees (yes, i’m a tree-hugger), eat Godiva chocolate at every meal, pay someone to clean my house and cook my food, sit by the water and watch the birds cruising and diving, employ a personal trainer so i can look and feel good, write, write, write all the things i love to write without thinking about publishing or income possibilities, buy some really nice expensive shoes, and more importantly (right now in my life), i would buy and live in a beautiful house on 10 wooded acres in a peaceful, quiet and serene environment far from people and their relentless noise.

what would you do?

memoir meme

i was tagged by miss demure restraint for this meme. it’s a six-word memoir, inspired by hemingway, who once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in six words. he came up with — for sale: baby shoes, never worn.

here are the meme rules:
1. write your own six-word memoir.
2. post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. tag five more blogs with links.
5. and don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

my six-word memoir:

j04226152.jpg    mountain girl lost in the sun

perhaps i should also add…who doesn’t get technology, which means i have no idea how to link this to miss demure restraint and the original post blog (weboflove). where’s a teenager when you need one…………………………………

lunar eclipse

i sat outside in a chair and watched the lunar eclipse from my side yard. the view was framed by trees and my neighborhood was uncharacteristically quiet, so it almost felt like i was outside in a wispy forest. clouds came and covered the evolution of the eclipse during parts of it but i was fortunate enough to witness half of the cycle, in particular the fullness of the eclipse. i saw a faded red moon, with all its valleys and mountains visible, accompanied by two or three stars/planets (i don’t know which and it doesn’t matter). i watched the moon for a time until earthly clouds flowed over it, blocking my view. two of my cats sat beside me, no doubt wondering what i was doing outside at night, sitting in a chair, watching the sky. i am coveting an eclipse, i said. can we sit on your lap? can we hide underneath the chair? they said. an animal’s life is so simple. my cats don’t understand that this type of lunar eclipse will not happen again until 2010. maybe they won’t be here. maybe i won’t be here. who knows.

in my office

a windy, cloudy monday and i sit in my office typing away, listening to mindy smith on my cd player. somewhere i believe there is a singer inside me, just waiting to be coaxed out her froggy closet. there’s also a writer, photographer, and artist waiting in the wings for their chance at life beyond these four walls. a psychic once told me a very long time ago that men would slow me down but fear would stop me if i let it…and i let it. i allowed this overwhelming fear i carry with me every second of every minute of every day strangle me, but not to the death, just to death row. now at middle age i want to open the secret door in the armoire and find my way through the swirling world that i call me. i have learned many things on my journey and now i’m finding that all these insights are leading right back to me. i have always had the strength and i have always known the answers – i just did not believe it. strange how that goes……

she’s gone

when she was two weeks old, i saved her life. pushed away by her siblings because she was too weak to fight for mama’s food, i fed her. and even though she had a defective heart, she grew into a beautiful kitten who was often too weak to dash madly about the house like her brothers and sisters. i felt sorry for her as she silently watched them play, so i invented a game for her that we could play together. it was called ‘sweeping the sweetie.’ she would attack the broom and then i would sweep her body with it, tickling her face and her belly. she thought this was the greatest game.

sweetie died on tuesday. her heart and lungs gave out. she was almost six years old, far older than the veterinarian, who diagnosed her bad heart, said she would live to. always a very sensitive cat, she often hid in the bushes to shield herself from the world. i understood that, and i never tried to coax her from her safety. i would bring her food and water to her chosen den until she was ready once again to face life outside her fortress.

our ‘sweeping the sweetie’ game is now over forever.